His Friend Zone is Much Different Than Hers

Men and women are both placed into what is known as "The Friend Zone" by each other. You have a crush on a person, and they are so nice, funny, smart, etc. Wouldn't it be great if they could end up being with you? This could be the perfect match, and you would do anything to have them in your life. There is just one problem, they are not feeling the same towards you, and you become "just friends" with them.

Guys tend to fall victim to this more often, specifically those overly nice, overly eager guys. He is a friend, no sex. However, girls are thrown into the zone quite frequently as well. Unbeknownst to them, but they are there too, she just cannot easily see when and why this is the case. Once you are in this zone in a person’s mind, good luck getting out, but let’s compare the two situations:

Girl’s friend zone: Pretty easy to tell. I mean, a stranger can tell when a guy is not getting laid because he is in the girl’s friend zone. She is not at all interested in him sexually or intimately, and she makes it perfectly clear to him. He will never get any vibe from her to make a move, and he will never be sleeping over (unless on the couch). She is content with where he stands, but he wants more. She just will not give him that. It’s painful to watch, and sad because this guy, who most likely would treat her better than anyone else, is just not going to get the girl.

Getting out of the friend zone, or not being placed into it in the first place is the goal here. It is possible to break the girl's friend zone, but it is extremely hard. Classic examples of guys breaking the friend zone they've been put in:

Peter Parker (Spiderman gets Mary Jane)
George McFly (Back to the Future)
Wesley, the farm boy (Princess Bride)

So either the guy has to be a revealed superhero like Parker, or punch someone bigger than them like McFly does to Biff, or show your devoted servitude and say "as you wish" all the time like Wesley...

Besides those extremes, the most important resistance to the girl's friend zone is for him to make his intentions obvious. When she looks at him, she should know he doesn’t want to be just her friend. He should be trying to win her over and want her to be his. If she is not interested, then that is it. She just doesn’t see him in that light, and he has to decide to be her friend or just move on.

A guy’s friend zone: Guys place girls in the friend zone as well, but that does not mean he’s not interested in sex. HUGE HUGE HUGE difference between the two zones, and can really screw with a girl’s head since intimacy and sex are very much a part of being in a relationship to them. So he will still be intimate and still keep her around, but he has no intention to be more than just friends or fuck buddies. Very confusing to a girl. Not picking up on his signs will keep getting herself placed here.

For a girl, knowing whether he is serious or just being friendly is a little more difficult to combat. Guys will treat their friends a certain way, and his girlfriend another way. Depends on the guy, but you can tell the difference. He sleeps with her Thursday night, but is busy the rest of the weekend? She's in his friend zone. A girlfriend does not get that kind of treatment. A girlfriend spends the night, then they are together all the next day, and he wants to be with her. Very different.

He's not bringing her around his friends, family, co-workers. In fact, he's not announcing her as his girlfriend at all. This should be an obvious red flag. Why is she only seeing him after 10 PM, or why doesn't anyone know she exists? He's hiding the idea of having a girlfriend and he's keeping her at a distance from his life. She's not picking it up because she's getting the intimacy shades pulled over her eyes with his late-night pillow talk. Maybe he does bring her out, but is he showing her off? Listen to how she is introduced:

This is the girl I'm seeing
This is the girl I'm dating
This is my neighbor
This is my co-worker

ALL = This is my FRIEND!

"This is my girlfriend" should be the phrase uttered. If it's a spin on that, or simply, just her name, there is a good chance she's been friended. "This is the girl I'm seeing" seems to be an acceptable way to introduce her, but it's very vague. He's seeing her, alright, but when asked if exclusive, he's saying differently when she's not around. Picking up on it?

So a guy needs to make his intentions known to avoid her friend zone, and if he still cannot escape it he either accepts his fate or moves on. What is a girl to do? It is much harder for a girl to come out with her intentions because this might scare the guy away. So girls try to play the cool chick, practice patience, and see where it will go. If she is not going to be as vocal, she needs to pick up on his above-mentioned actions to self-diagnose her friend zone status. Then when she has enough ammo, she can confront him and get him to admit his intentions. This will be the moment when she can accept her fate or move on.

So those are the two different ways we are zoned off in the land of friendship. When a girl puts a guy in her friend zone, it tends to be a lot sweeter than when a guy does it. She means well and doesn’t want to hurt him, but just does not want him in that way. He can absolutely hang out with her - but on her terms. Hooters waitresses are great at this since they have to put so many people in the zone.

Now sometimes girls might use a friended guy because she knows he will do anything for her. In these cases, he almost deserves it. She'll spend his money, accept gifts, borrow his car, have him carry her shit, etc. Strippers come to mind. If he's not getting any sex or romantic situations from the girl, he should be keen as to why...

Plus these actions really do not compare to messing with a girl’s head when a guy puts her in his friend zone. If he is pronouncing words of love, and showing intimacy and deep down, he’s not interested, it is seriously hard to decipher from a female point of view! She isn’t understanding what is going on in his brain, and it feels like a relationship to her.

Some guys are actually nice about their friend zones. He really doesn’t want to hurt the girl, or he is not at all attracted to her. He will actually not get physical with her at all, and he zones her almost like a girl would. If a girl gets this treatment and she still persists, then she is just as clueless as the guy who is following around his Hooter’s waitress like a puppy dog. Beware...

More to come...

Compliments... Straight to his Balls

Complimenting a guy. They always say shower a girl with compliments and stroke a man’s... er, ego. That being said, girls need to realize the power of compliments. Girls are really really good at complimenting each other. My dad brought something very important to my attention when I was young. He asked me what is the first thing two girls always say to each other when they meet?

I looooove the way you look tonight
Look at that dress! You are so hot
OMG, I love your hair
You are gorgeous, I’m going to look so bad next to you
Nice ass girl, you are going to kill tonight in those jeans

Haha, or whatever is said, but the point is, this truly is the very first thing uttered to each other… EVERY SINGLE TIME. They may not be sincere compliments or maybe they even secretly hate each other, but still it is how a conversation has to start between girls. It has to. Maybe guys should start it this way too? Yes, a good guy knows to make it the absolute first thing he says to a girl every time as well.

Now complimenting with guys is a little different. Sure, hit us up with compliments right away, they’re nice, but the more a guy hears something, the more it inflates the head. So back off those compliments a little bit. If you tell a guy he always smells good, then you don’t need to repeat it to him, he’ll remember he’s a bad ass.

I remember last month when she told me that I turned her on... man that’s hot.

If you keep telling him he looks so great in those jeans, or he is fucking hilarious, he is going to start pushing you away.

I’m sorry, let me back up. If you are already in a relationship with him then don’t worry, let the compliments fly, but if you’re trying to get him to like you, then you need to stop letting him know he’s hot shit.

So the way a compliment is received is different too. A girl likes hearing compliments because it helps to keep her insecurities in check. She keeps hearing and receiving them, then she starts to believe it herself. It’s good for her, she feels good… but only temporarily. She will need many more where that came from to maintain a healthy confidence.

A guy doesn’t receive them the same way. They are more absorbed by him, and each one increases his power, like a superhero. Each compliment is making him more and more full of himself. Eventually he is too good for her because he can get anybody in his inflated head, and can’t waste his time on her, etc. The compliment goes straight to his balls, and he is just a tool now. Realize this, and spot the ego. No need to add to it, keep those thoughts in your head.

Some guys don't care if there is a lack of compliments. If he's good, he’ll see your feelings through your eyes, and you’re done for, beware. More to come...