You don't have a boyfriend? What did you do?

Why don’t I have a boyfriend?

I cannot find me a good man

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Analyze these statements. It sounds like there is a problem with the attitude to me. This is the first area we need to examine and we will branch out from there. Have you ever uttered statements like those in your life? “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” I suppose pretty much every single girl has asked why at some point in their lives, but the statement itself is so negative. They are focusing on what they do not have, and this little thought is slowly growing bigger and bigger in their head. Soon, it dominates all thoughts, leads to insecurities, irrational decisions, depression, and desperation. Why are you doing this to yourself? Ever hear of happily single? Be! Then focus on things you DO have.

So the absolute first thing one needs to do is change this attitude. Most of the issues in the rest of this section spawn from the negativity. The rationalizing and lies you tell yourself, the crazy and desperate behavior, the people you surround yourself with, the people you are attracted to, and most importantly, the ones you attract.

You would be surprised how much control you have over what you bring into your life, both positively and negatively. If you dwell on negative qualities and constantly think you attract the same asshole guy, then you will continue to do so! Think about it:

Why do I keep dating guys that cheat on me?

I swear, if I end up with one more drunk, I’m going to freak!

All my friends end up with such sweet guys. I feel I’m stuck with the leftovers.

I keep ending up with these losers that pretend to like me in the beginning, then just fizzle in the end, and I’m right back to where I started.

How can you possibly attract what you want when you are always focusing on what you do not? You are reinforcing these bad situations with your thoughts. The more you hate ending up with cheaters, the more you will be cheated on. The more you think there is no one out there, the more likely that is the case for you. It’s like you almost are pushing away anything positive that might be out there. Thankfully, this requires a simple attitude adjustment, and you’ll find I’ll be pushing to change attitude numerous times throughout this book.

Instead, focus on what you want to attract, and completely eliminate the negative thoughts from your head. Easier said than done, I know, and it is hard when you are constantly getting bombarded by douche bags at the bars, but there is someone in that very same bar that is a winner. Just know you will find him. So how about these statements instead:

I love how I can always run into a great guy when I am out and about.

It feels good to know people cannot stop focusing on my _____ (eyes, butt, outfit, etc), keep it coming!

I love knowing my future man is somewhere in this very city/town/office building!

So now instead of singing Where Have All the Cowboys Gone, you are singing Cowboy, Take Meeeeee Away! That’s the Dixie Chicks if you didn’t get me there. Now that we are aware of the proper attitude to possess, realize changing your thoughts is only one part of the process. Your actions, as they say, speak louder than words. Therefore some focus is in order on those quirky, and sometimes psychotic actions, maybe preventing you from where you want to be. I’m going to give you some insight into man’s mind, and the issues and scenarios we could do without.

The first issue men have is how some women are in the beginning. Girls appear to be cool with everything at first, whether or not they really are is a different story. Are you lying to this new guy and yourself?

Sure I love to camp, I’ve never been before, but I love it

Smoking doesn’t bother me, I don’t mind.

I’ve been to a strip club before, they’re fun! Got any porn? Woo Hoo!

I’m a total dog person

Guys are thinking, wow, really? Okay, you sound like a pretty cool chick. I think I’ll hang out with you. Okay, you got us. Hook, line, and sinker, snagged. The problem is, once girls have us, their true colors start to show down the road, and it becomes difficult.

I’m sweaty in this tent, can you give me your car keys so I can sit in your AC? And I thought there’d be showers!

You need to quit smoking, you are disgusting.

No! You’re not allowed to go to that bachelor party, and stop watching fucking porn!

Well I meant, I love lap dogs, not your big guy, he’s too rough. We should get a chiwawa, don’t you think?

Ugh, a chiwawa? What? Isn’t that what you get when you successfully mate a rat and a cat? No thanks. What the hell just happened? Wasn’t she cool at first? Why do guys feel like they have been lied to? Simple rule here people, if you don’t really think or believe in something, then why did you say it? Something about the first month with each other makes people do the weirdest things. We are not honest with each other, or ourselves. We lie, say things not necessarily true about us, but we will just say it for now, and the truth will come out later. Men are right in there too with this flaw. They are the best that first month, aren’t they? Eventually the truth will come out from both parties, and the situation is about to change.

So when a guy starts seeing the girl for who she really is, they will feel duped, and will handle the situation in one of two ways:

One, a guy’s spirit is broken. They lower their heads, and say “yes dear.” He is done, mission accomplished, she has him in her complete control for the rest of his soon to be shitty life.

Two, guys get pissed, defensive, and usually pretty loud. Guys think the louder they are, the more the point gets across, right? Ultimately, he breaks up with her, or rebels against her rules enough where she breaks up with him. Horrible endings all over the place:

 

All of a sudden, she’s coming over, he is not springing up from the couch any more when she enters, he doesn’t offer opinions about where or what to eat for dinner. The phrase “I don’t know” or “I don't care” is uttered fives times as much, and he starts to fart in front of her. But not in the, I’m relieved I can fart in front of my woman sort of way. More like the, I don’t care if you smell my ass sort of way. He doesn’t tell her where he’s going as much, and it almost feels like he is sabotaging how she feels about him. Well he is, and he does not want any part of this relationship any more. Who is to blame in the situation? Probably him, but there is a reason he turned to this behavior. One, he’s a child deep down, yes, and two, she may have lied to him. Beware...

More to come...